Are you handing over your power?

What should I do?

Have you ever asked this question? I certainly have. 

Truth: deep down we know what we want to be doing. But sometimes the things we really want require sacrifice, at least in the beginning. Without knowing the for-sure-undeniable outcomes, it’s scary to consider making a decision that may have negative repercussions. 

So we look for advice. E-courses. Coaches. Books. Support.

None of these are bad resources. It’s when we become immersed in “studying” and asking around to the point that we become fearful of making any decisions based on our own intuition that things get out of focus. You guys, your intuition is a powerful tool.

One thing that I do when I’m feeling pulled in too many directions by decision-making is buy a bunch of books, especially of the self-help and spiritual nature. They get my brain out of the actual decision and into understanding how I want to feel.

I'll just sit...and read...and think...and...not make any decisions or take any action.

There’s a similar focus with workbooks and exercises and homework in coaching resources in which the aim is to give business advice. Not to say that I don’t enjoy those things, immensely! But I’ve realized that no decision-making exercise or anecdotal read will relieve me of having to actually make the decision. The longer I ponder the actual decision without acting on it, the harder it is for me to move on and get to work.

The same goes for constantly asking friends, family, and business acquaintances for their input. Lots of people love to give advice (you usually don’t even have to ask!), and most of them have the best intentions when they offer their feedback. But when you go to others for decision-making support, you are also opening yourself up to their fears and resistance related to your goals. I’ve had people try to talk me out of a business idea because it wasn’t something they would do. That’s not a good enough reason to not pursue something if I think it is viable. I’ve also had many people suggest product ideas that are not something that I would be interested in pursuing. Doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate their input, but I usually take those offers with a grain of salt.

When it comes to advice from other people on which direction to go in your business, you have to take what you want from it while not letting it dictate your entire path.

The fact is, you won’t know the outcome of most decisions until you test them for yourself. No amount of advice from someone else is going to fully prepare you for your own experience in the situation.  

The same goes for shifting the responsibility of the decisions you make onto other commitments, like day jobs and family responsibilities. I kind of cringe when people use those as reasons for not doing something they really want to do. Either you want to pursue a goal, or you don’t. Saying you aren’t doing this or that because your day job is too demanding, or your family needs you, is a cop out. If you really want something, you have to make the space for it in your life. It doesn’t happen overnight. You make small shifts that add up to big change over time. 

Maybe you don’t want the thing you are having trouble deciding on. That’s okay. Totally okay. You don’t have to justify not wanting it by shifting the blame to external forces in your life.

When making decisions in your business and life, it is up to you.

Asking everyone else what you should do or seeking outside approval essentially diminishes your decision-making power. You are handing over your power to someone else and releasing yourself from the responsibility of the decision.

Get comfortable making your own decisions and accepting the outcomes as your responsibility, whether good or disappointing. Making good decisions is a skill that has to be developed and practiced. The more you do it, the easier it gets and the better you become at it. You will build your confidence, and the power you have over the course of your life will grow as well.

As I mentioned above, your intuition can do so much for you if you are willing to listen to it. There are so many paths you could take. That doesn’t mean you have to try every single one. Our intuition is really good at the process of elimination. Start there.  

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